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:: Wednesday, July 09, 2003 ::
That news story about Norweigen sperm reminds me of something. As some of you know, The Wife works in a shop. This shop was closed for a refit recently and she had to work a few shifts sat in a garden shed in the car park turning customers away and directing them to other braches. Nasty customers got gift vouchers as appeasement, nice customers got nothing, the horrible injustice of this world sickens me I tell you... Anyway, she worked three shifts in this shed, each time stuck in there with a different security guard, from a agency, all of them African in origin, don’t ask what country, I don’t know and its not relevant to the story.
Day 1:
Security Guard #1: Hello
Wifelet #1: Hello
SG1: Are you married?
W1: Yes.
SG1: You are very beautiful. You husband is very luck man.
W1: Err... thankyou.
SG1: Any children?
W1: No.
SG1: Oh. Why not?
W1: We don’t want any right now, but we have two very cute nephews blah blah.
Day 2:
Security Guard #2: Hello
Wifelet #1: Hello
SG2: Are you married?
W1 (not again?): Yes.
SG2: You are very beautiful. You husband is very luck man.
W1 (whatever): Thankyou.
SG2: Any children?
W1: No.
SG2: Oh. Why not?
W1: We don’t want any right now, but we have two very cute nephews blah blah.
Day 3:
Security Guard #3: Hello
Wifelet #1: Hello
SG3: Are you married?
W1 (here we go, reluctant sigh): Yes.
SG3: You are very beautiful. You husband is very luck man.
W1 (yeah, right. Get on with it): Thankyou.
SG3: Any children?
W1: No.
SG3: Oh. Is there something wrong with sparm?
W1 (must have misheard, must have said something about spam): What!?
SG3: You know, sparm? Biology? (Mimes sperm swimming movement with index finger)
W1: Er, no. Not as far as I know. We haven't tried.
SG3 (shocked): You haven't tried?
W1: No, err, I'm on the pill. You know, it stops it...
SG3 (puzzled): Ooh. You know that’s not good. Some women can never have children after taking that blah blah.
W1: Shut up! Leave me alone! I don’t want to talk to you about this! How dare you cast aspirations about my husband's virility!? I’m sure he could impregnate many, many, many women all at the same time if he chose to do so. Especially if they included Christina Ricci and Polly Harvey and Kate Winslet and Mutya from the Sugababes and...
OK, so I’m paraphrasing. But I’m sure the conversation ended something like that, you get the idea.
What is the obsession with having children? Why are we obliged to do it? Will we rot in some kind of elderly childless person hell for not fulfilling this obligation?
:: Dan 9.7.03 [Arc] [0 comments] [links to this post] ::
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