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:: Monday, October 13, 2003 ::
I went to see Underworld last week. (As Grom has already reported, Sony Pictures are being sued by White Wolf for 17 counts of copyright infringement and over 60 points of unique similarity between Underworld and their work, the official filing is here.) Now, you would think that any film featuring a raven haired vampiress in a rubber cat suit can’t really go wrong, right? Wrong. This films only redeeming feature is its costumes (see previous comment), the music is appalling, the effects and make up are a long way short of spectacular, and much of the action is laughable. I’m going to explain these three complaints in a little more detail to try and convince you not to spend any money on watching this.
Music: When, oh when, will the general public get tired of "Nu-Metal" soundtracks? The scene where one of the characters turns into a werewolf for the first time, in the back of a car, and the people in the front notice, say "oh, shit" unconvincingly, and turn the radio up so the transformation is accompanied by a less-than-thrashing guitar riff and some guy doing some girly screaming, is utterly pathetic.
Effects: I know effects are often over played and over used in movies these days, but just look at the make-up when Bill Nighy’s character, Victor, is first awaken, it looks some sort of Blue Peter make your own cardboard skeleton that turns into a vampire project.
Action: There is a scene where someone takes a sword and in some unrealistic half arsed flying spinning jumping movement is suddenly on the other side of the room. The person they were fighting then stands up and slowly turn around to see that the sword is now blood stained. A close up of the victims face then shows a small diagonal superficial cut appear across their face and a little blood oozes from it. The view thinks, oh, he’s got a minor cut there look, I wonder what the relevance of that is? A look of shock comes over the guys face and the top half of his head then slowly slides of sideways as his head had actually been totally, perfectly, cleanly severed through the middle, showing us the cross section of his brain which was apparently capable of thought as well as controlling motor movement and facial expression despite this somewhat major trauma. The audience hold their sides and shake with laughter so much they are rendered incapable of asking for a refund.
You have been warned.
:: Dan 13.10.03 [Arc] [0 comments] [links to this post]::
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