:: GussetBLOG ::
Read it for free, then buy Gusset music
:: Tuesday, October 21, 2003 ::
There was some talk yesterday (that I can’t find any links to) about the disappointing behaviour of fans during one of the Rugby World Cup games in Oz. One set of fans was being particularly unsporting; booing when the opposing teams were attempting to convert a try or take a penalty, cheering if the conversion missed etc. Apparently this is a sign of creeping loutishness in Rugby, which has been a loutishness free sport for the whole of history, and if this remains uncurbed it will spread to all sport and eventually the downfall of human civilisation. Normally if I hear words that strong I would instantly set about my one man mission to change the entire world for the better through strategically placed sarcastic comments and by having an argument with the in-laws. However, on this occasion I felt no such urge as there was one crucial detail that had been overlooked. The world will not end because there will always be one surviving sport which will never fall prey to the hooligans – the oldest game in the world (no, not that one, ‘the game’ is the oldest profession, I’m talking about the oldest game) - Chess. Chess Hooligans would never have a chance would they?
White player reaches for board after five minutes of intense concentration.
Black player fans:
Boo. Hiss. Boo. (etc)
White player stops to consider move
Black player fans:
What’s he doing? Boo. Hiss. (etc)
White player moves Kings Rook to Kings Bishop 3, takes Queens Bishop.
Black player fans:
Agghh!
White player fans:
You’re not singing, you’re not singing, you’re not singing anymore...
Black player fans:
Ha ha, you needed that Bishop to pull back and protect your fatally open defences. Where’s your Nimzo-Larsen opening got you now eh?
White player fans:
Ha ha, you’ve fallen into the “take the Bishop” trap, there is no hope for you now week minded fool!
White fans go to the bar and order another three pints of Stella each to see then through the game.
Black player fans:
You think we didn’t see that’s what you wanted us to do? Were just playing with you letting you think were doing what you expect but when we Castle it’s going to be a different story isn’t it!?
White player fans (from bar):
You can’t castle from there, your at least three moves away from any safe fall back position and that’s just too slow for our planned attack. Were just waiting for the moment to strike!
Black player moves a pawn
White player fans:
Damn you, where did that come from? But look, you’ve left you King exposed, we only have to move our Queen and you’re as good as toast, oh no, that square is coved by your knight. Shit! (drop drinks)
You see, this will never happen. The world is saved!
:: Dan 21.10.03 [Arc] [0 comments] [links to this post]::
...
Comments:
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
