:: GussetBLOG ::

:: Saturday, February 22, 2003 ::

Interesting article on how the Chinese pop industry has basicaly accepted that piracy happens and has change to cope.

:: popcorn 22.2.03 [Arc]    ::
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I've just watched "My Wrongs...", very good little film, with some very nice extras. The audio remixes are also very good and give a whole different feel to the piece. And the original radio monologue is also included (it's not on the Blue Jam CD), which is interesting to hear, you can see how the sketch has evolved slightly. The film itself is very similar in feel and atmosphere to the Suicide Journalist sketch. It follows a guy who is so confused about his existence he thinks his friends dog, Rothco, that he is looking after is telling him what to do, and the dog becomes his lawyer who has to defend everything the guy has done since he was four. A brief flash back scene explains how his gerbil caused his to break up his parent's marriage... Anyway, I'm sure you have the idea by now. It's only eleven minutes long but well worth the low asking price (apparently as low as a fiver some places). Buy it and Shit Off.

:: Dan 22.2.03 [Arc]    ::
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Nigerian 419 goes horribly wrong.

:: popcorn 20.2.03 [Arc]    ::
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Been thinking too much. Dangerous I know, I'll try to stop it.

:: Dan 20.2.03 [Arc]    ::
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Are you ok, Dan?

:: Spokesy 20.2.03 [Arc]    ::
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I saw some news footage last night of the ...yawn... football. It showed Man U playing someone else who weren’t Man U, and one of the goal things that someone scored. The presenter led me to believe that Beckham scored said goal (this turned out to be a lie... or possibly just a misunderstanding on my part). The footage showed the goal being scored by some ugly fuck with black hair, Van Nestle or something, who didn’t look remotely like Beckham (I do not what he looks like, it’s difficult to escape). For a moment I thought Posh had convinced him to dye his hair black and that Sir Ferguson had given him more of a good kicking in the face than the media made out. I dismissed this as unlikely as the media would never play down such a story, we would be more likely to see a new 24 hour news channel go into operation so we could watch the Beckham’s 24/7 (for there own safety of course). Thankfully this has not yet happened, but maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea, if this channel was given exclusive rights to all stories that in any way remotely involved the Beckham’s, Man U, any Spice Girls, and possibly just football generally, and then this channel carried a huge subscription charge that prohibited it for being included in any cable package, we would all be safe. I wonder if we could do the same with the cricket?

:: Dan 20.2.03 [Arc]    ::
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I've been sitting on this for far too long... and it's starting to get uncomfortable!
Below is the leader from this months Sound on Sound magazine. If this makes you think you should find out more about the proposed changes to the law read what the Musicians Union have to say, and if that's enough to make your blood boil, sign the petition and fax you MP before its too late!

SOS piece:
As a magazine, SOS deals primarily with recorded music; but few readers can have failed to hear about some worrying proposed changes to the UK's live music licensing laws. Currently, up to two musicians can play in a pub, restaurant or other suitable venue without restriction (as long as they're not causing a nuisance), but bands of three or more must be covered by the appropriate entertainments licence. This situation clearly favours karaoke, duos and players who use backing tracks, while making life more difficult for bands. Because of this, it's been suggested on more than one occasion that the government might do something to improve the situation — note that the more sensible Scots have no such entertainment licensing laws and wisely use existing nuisance regulations to curb excessively noisy events.

As with most government documents, extracting any coherent meaning from what's being proposed is quite difficult, but it seems that their idea of an improvement is to require all live music that's open to the public and performed for gain in any venue, indoors or out, to be licensed. Pubs will be able to get the necessary entertainment licence along with their drinks licence, and it will, we're told, "automatically be granted providing there are no objections from the police, the fire services, or members of the public". Restrictions might also be placed on the times performances are allowed, rather than leaving this to the more logical mechanisms of the current nuisance laws — so you may have to stop playing a 10pm regardless of whether you're a 20kW rock band or a solo classical guitarist.

Any venue that isn't a licensed hostelry will still have to pay for an entertainments licence and jump through whatever hoops are required to get one if they want any live music at all, even a solo violinist serenading diners in a restaurant. Discos and other forms of canned music are also caught by the bill, but broadcast radio or TV music, televised football matches and so on are exempt. Any pleas to the effect that acoustic music should also be exempt on the grounds that it's generally quieter than discos have been dismissed, possibly on the off-chance that you might book the Dagenham Girl Pipers to play! Furthermore, it appears that the onus is on the musicians — not the venue owner — to establish whether or not the venue has the appropriate licence before performing, and failure to do so could lead to a £20,000 fine or six months in prison.

While churches are exempt from this bill (unless hosting non-church-related events such as concerts), carol singing or Morris dancing are included as they're classed as entertainment. Outdoor charity events, local music festivals and even busking must also be covered by a temporary site licence or the same penalties apply. Not only that, but if you stick to the letter of the proposed law, rehearsal rooms and music recording studios will also need licences as their services are available to members of the paying public.

With all of this in mind, I suggest we all scrutinise this bill, and, if we think it unreasonable, oppose it in every possible way, which includes signing the various on-line petitions and contacting your local MP. Unfortunately, my own MP sent back a standard letter in support of the bill with no additional comment, despite the fact that he's a Tory! In my letter, I'd suggested that having a penalty system where the sentence for 20 illegally sung Christmas carols being roughly equivalent to that for murdering a small child was somewhat unjust.

Only a good lawyer would know where to look for the loopholes, and I can only hope the Musicians' Union is looking into such things. A current estimate suggests that up to 100,000 venues in the UK could be affected, and if we don't make our voices heard, this silliness could be passed during March 2003. So please check out this Bill and oppose any elements that you feel are unjust — otherwise, live entertainment may become just a fond memory in many areas.

:: Dan 19.2.03 [Arc]    ::
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As if your not already excited enough about the release of Chris Morris's short film "My Wrongs Number 8245-8249 And 117" next Monday, you can now pre-order the two DVD set of Jam which is release on 7th April (Now delayed until 12th May, Boo). HMV have a very nice review of it up, although I can't link directly to it because of some weird Java thing they've got going on, so you'll have to go here and search for it. It's worth reading just for the ridiculous special features!
You can read more Chris Morris related stuff, and download loads of rare radio shows, at Cook'd and Bomb'd, which also lives in the links section over there---------->
Cook'd and Bomb'd now have special JAM DVD info page up. [edited 3/19/2003]

:: Dan 19.2.03 [Arc]    ::
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Eko... it looks like a keyboard, but it's a PC!
Open Labs create ‘keyboard that runs VST plug-ins’

Interesting, but I dread to think what the price will be like.

:: Dan 19.2.03 [Arc]    ::
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That low frequency music piece is interesting. I’d like to know exactly how low they are going with that? It has to be below 20Hz so you cant hear it. Some church organs go down well below that already. But get too far down, around 12 ish I think, you start hitting resonance of different parts of the body, and we all know what happens at 7Hz!

According to this survey people in Bristol are more likely to smile at strangers than people in any other major city. Although I imagine the results could be massively skewed by how attractive the psychology student performing the tests were.

:: Dan 19.2.03 [Arc]    ::
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Sounds out of human hearing range can effect emotions

:: popcorn 19.2.03 [Arc]    ::
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Large Download - 1.6Meg - but this really is something you should put in your DVD collection, or drop it in the local Blockbuster. Shame it's not a real film, I'd like to see it.

:: Dan 18.2.03 [Arc]    ::
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As the US panics and the entrepreneurs cash in, remember how stupid people were before: Nuclear War Survival Skills: Updated and Expanded 1987 Edition

:: Dan 17.2.03 [Arc]    ::
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A letter to the Observer from Terry Jones of Monty Python
Sunday January 26, 2003 The Observer

I'm really excited by George Bush's latest reason for bombing Iraq:
he's running out of patience. And so am I! For some time now I've been
really pissed off with Mr Johnson, who lives a couple of doors down the
street. Well, him and Mr Patel, who runs the health food shop. They both
give me queer looks, and I'm sure Mr Johnson is planning something
nasty for me, but so far I haven't been able to discover what. I've been
round to his place a few times to see what he's up to, but he's got
everything well hidden. That's how devious he is. As for Mr Patel, don't ask
me how I know, I just know -from very good sources - that he is, in
reality, a Mass Murderer.

I have leafleted the street telling them that if we don't act first,
he'll pick us off one by one. Some of my neighbours say, if I've got
proof, why don't I go to the police? But that's simply ridiculous. The
police will say that they need evidence of a crime with which to charge my
neighbours. They'll come up with endless red tape and quibbling about
the rights and wrongs of a pre-emptive strike and all the while Mr
Johnson will be finalising his plans to do terrible things to me, while Mr
Patel will be secretly murdering people. Since I'm the only one in the
street with a decent range of automatic firearms, I reckon it's up to me
to keep the peace. But until recently that's been a little difficult.
Now, however, George W. Bush has made it clear that all I need to do is
run out of patience, and then I can wade in and do whatever I want! And
let's face it, Mr Bush's carefully thought-out policy towards Iraq is
the only way to bring about international peace and security.

The one certain way to stop Muslim fundamentalist suicide bombers
targeting the US or the UK is to bomb a few Muslim countries that have
never threatened us. That's why I want to blow up Mr Johnson's garage and
kill his wife and children. Strike first! That'll teach him a lesson.
Then he'll leave us in peace and stop peering at me in that totally
unacceptable way. Mr Bush makes it clear that all he needs to know before
bombing Iraq is that Saddam is a really nasty man and that he has weapons
of mass destruction -even if no one can find them. I'm certain I've
just as much justification for killing Mr Johnson's wife and children as
Mr Bush has for bombing Iraq.

Mr Bush's long-term aim is to make the world a safer place by
eliminating 'rogue states' and 'terrorism'. It's such a clever long-term aim
because how can you ever know when you've achieved it? How will Mr Bush
know when he's wiped out all terrorists? When every single terrorist is
dead? But then a terrorist is only a terrorist once he's committed an
act of terror. What about would-be terrorists? These are the ones you
really want to eliminate, since most of the known terrorists, being
suicide bombers, have already eliminated themselves. Perhaps Mr Bush needs
to wipe out everyone who could possibly be a future terrorist? Maybe
he can't be sure he's achieved his objective until every Muslim
fundamentalist is dead? But then some moderate Muslims might convert to
fundamentalism. Maybe the only really safe thing to do would be for Mr Bush to
eliminate all Muslims? It's the same in my street. Mr Johnson and Mr
Patel are just the tip of the iceberg. There are dozens of other people
in the street who I don't like and who - quite frankly - look at me in
odd ways. No one will be really safe until I've wiped them all out.

My wife says I might be going too far but I tell her I'm simply using
the same logic as the President of the United States. That shuts her
up. Like Mr Bush, I've run out of patience, and if that's a good enough
reason for the President, it's good enough for me. I'm going to give the
whole street two weeks - no, 10 days - to come out in the open and hand
over all aliens and interplanetary hijackers, galactic outlaws and
interstellar terrorist masterminds, and if they don't hand them over
nicely and say 'Thank you', I'm going to bomb the entire street to
kingdom come. It's just as sane as what George W. Bush is proposing - and,
in contrast to what he's intending, my policy will destroy only one
street.

Ta, Grom

:: popcorn 17.2.03 [Arc]    ::
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With all the media/Bush driven "homeland security" fears about in the states at the moment, more and more Americans are doing the patriotic thing, and cashing in.

:: popcorn 17.2.03 [Arc]    ::
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