:: GussetBLOG ::

:: Friday, October 17, 2003 ::

Re Dan's Council fly poster campaign story from Wednesday, my office received this letter this morning:

"Along Ashley road where it joins stokes croft is an area of boarding used to supposedly secure Westmoreland house. On these boards are loads of billposters that are making the area very untidy. The council or owners of the boards have put some anti-bill posting paint, which is meant to ensure the poster fall off. However, they are sticking again."

So there. It doesn't work.

:: Dash 17.10.03 [Arc] [0 comments] [links to this post] ::
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Google Talk is another groovy Google Hack. Type in the first few words of a sentance and it'll try to finish it off for you.

:: popcorn 16.10.03 [Arc] [0 comments] [links to this post] ::
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Good day to you, sir. The Chap Magazine is organising a gentle protest in an attempt to civilise London today. They suggest, among other things, that you “enter the purveyors of ‘fast food’ and request a table for two with “a pleasant view,” then order a breakfast of devilled kidneys, kedgeree and eggs Benedict” or “enter an ophthalmic optician and ask to see the monocle selection”. Listen to what happened when they attempted this in one fast food restaurant in London this morning, "well how do you serve your Kidneys then?"

:: Dan 16.10.03 [Arc] [0 comments] [links to this post] ::
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I've got to try this! (2MB mpg)
More here.

:: Dan 15.10.03 [Arc] [0 comments] [links to this post] ::
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I call Taylor. "Hi killer," she says. "Do you wanna borrow $600?" I go to the Acapulco Western Union. "Surprise," she goes. She takes me back to her hotel and peels off her shorts. "Tell me you killed them for me." What the hell. "I did it for you."

"I got it on tape," she shouts, pullin up her shorts. "I'm gonna be famous."

High-school massacre story wins booker prise. First chapter. Vernon God Little digested.


I heard this morning that Bristol is leading the way with an ingenious new solution to the problem of fly-posting. The council are using poster proof paint. Somehow I can’t see that working. Adhesives exist that will stick two diamonds together, so is there really no glue that will stick paper to a tar like paint? I doubt it. And once one poster is up more will just get piled on top of it with whatever cheap glue was used previously.

It seems typical that less that a week after someone offers to put up some posters for me the council is making a stand against cheap communication for the cities young entrepreneurs such as myself (tongue firmly in cheek). I like fly posters. They are the single most effective way of finding out what is going on in a city. A quick drive through Stokes Croft /St Pauls/Easton, and you can be sure you know about all of the most interesting events coming up in Bristol in the next month. It is a shame however that a lot of big record companies seem to have realised this and will cover a whole building in identical posters for the new Madonna album or similar. It looks like some kind of half arsed attempt at recreating a Warhol painting. Perhaps there is some kind of half way deal, owners of some buildings allowing fly posting, this should be encouraged. I’m all for legitimising it somehow but it’s not a problem that will simply go away with a few coat of paint, that will just lead to posters being put in more intrusive places where people/residents/shop owners are even more likely to complain.

:: Dan 15.10.03 [Arc] [0 comments] [links to this post] ::
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Have posted some new reviews on the new reviews page.

Plaid - ‘Spokes’ (Warp)
Luke Vibert - ‘YosepH’ (Warp)
Stereolab - ‘instant 0 in the universe' (Duophonic)
Plaskicman - ‘Closer’ (Novamute)
Urban Myth & Steve Beresford - 'Live At The Friends Meeting House' (Planet Mu)
Umm, and there shound be a Snares review but the file didn't upload properly. This link will be dead until sometime thisevening:
Venetian Snares - 'Chocolate Wheelchair' and 'Einstein-Rosen Bridge' (Planet Mu)

:: Dan 15.10.03 [Arc] [0 comments] [links to this post] ::
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Word of advice: If you're going to kock over a chinese hairdressers, make sure thier assistants don't have dodgy sounding nicknames, such as "The Doctor". And while you're at it you might want to check if they happen to be a Martial arts expert

:: popcorn 14.10.03 [Arc] [0 comments] [links to this post] ::
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Next week is Kingfisher World Curry Week, in case you needed an excuse to go out for a curry. The website is rubbish though and the list of participating restaurants only covers London and the Home Counties. There is a limited section on other cities (Cardiff seems to be the only place outside of that catchment and there is no where that would be considered up-North!) so how come I found out about this in my local free paper in Bristol is a mystery.

:: Dan 14.10.03 [Arc] [0 comments] [links to this post] ::
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The combination of Channel 4’s Magic Month and the recent posting of 80’s light entertainers has inspired me to post this picture of Paul Daniels and <sillyvoice pitch=+1_octave> the lovely Debbie McGeeeeeeee </sillyvoice>.



It’s good to see magic getting the air time it is at the moment, which I suppose we have David Blaine to thank for - even if he does seem to be a few cards short of a full deck these days.

I suppose magic is now the new Rock and Roll in the same cookery was a few years ago when Jamie Oliver first appeared and Gordon Ramsey’s Boiling Point was aired, or comedy was before that when Newman and Baddiel did that Wembley stadium gig, unheard of at the time but increasingly common, Lee Evens recently performed to a record crowd there, Eddie Izzard comparéd the We Know Where You Live gig for Amnesty International there and returns there for his Sexie tour later this year etc.

I remember my fascination with magic as a kid, always watching Paul Daniels on TV, owning two of his magic sets and practicing tricks on my family who would pretend to be impressed, and the occasional one-off spectacular like the David Copperfield stunts (who remembers him "walking through" the Great Wall of China?) or the Paul Daniels Halloween special where they faked it going wrong (the red help flag came out of the Iron Maiden too late for anyone to stop it slamming closed on him) or the rally driving thing where he escaped from the wooden crate probably in the same way Houdini pioneered in the early part of the centaury. I remember watching a film of Houdini’s life (probably this one) which from memory I was sure showed him dying on stage when a stunt went wrong. I only learned from another documentary years later that this isn’t how he died at all, he actually died of peritonitis resulting from appendicitis.

The recent re-emergence of magic on TV is great to see. Five’s Monkey Magic was a pretty good show, Channel 4’s new Sunday evening slot is good, although a little heavy on Blaine repeats. For me it’s Darren Brown who steals the show. The Russian Roulette Live was the most inspired and one of the most gripping bits of TV I’ve seen for years. OK, so it wasn’t magic as such, it wasn’t mind reading, it wasn’t just the power of suggestion (although he did say the word "One" deliberately clearly three times when asking the guy to load the gun and he did put it in chamber one. The only clue he had in choosing the rounds safe to fire against his head was the person who loaded the gun counting from one to six slowly and as steadily possible (difficult as he was clearly shitting himself). I guessed at camber one myself, but there was absolutely no way I would have been confident enough about that to fire ANY round at my head. The process used to pick the person to load the gun was fascinating in itself. But why anyone would want to do that in the first place is beyond me. There are only two possible outcomes for the person who loads it, you either kill someone and live with the guilt of doing that or you show yourself to be easily read, in fact the most easily read person out of thousands of applicants, I personally I don’t like the idea of that either. The fact that a lot of the press were unimpressed shows they didn’t really understand what was going on, a blank bullet was demonstrated to be just dangerous at close range during the program (although admittedly that could just as easily have been faked). The suggestion that other people will try it seems rediculus to me but I suppose only time will tell. If it takes out a few gun owners all the better really!

One thing is undeniable, this was much better TV than someone sitting in a box in London (hundreds of homeless people do that every day), standing on a stick or being frozen in carbonite a block of ice. I challenge David Blaine to do something half as interesting, the American fuck-wit doesn’t have the balls.

:: Dan 14.10.03 [Arc] [0 comments] [links to this post] ::
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Almost forgot my other complaint about the music in Underworld. The incidental music was all exactly the same synthesised ringing crystal sound used in every episode of the x-files. Whether it’s just a preset sound on some Korg synth or whether it was just sampled straight out of the x-files to save time I’m not sure. Could do better.

:: Dan 14.10.03 [Arc] [0 comments] [links to this post] ::
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I went to see Underworld last week. (As Grom has already reported, Sony Pictures are being sued by White Wolf for 17 counts of copyright infringement and over 60 points of unique similarity between Underworld and their work, the official filing is here.) Now, you would think that any film featuring a raven haired vampiress in a rubber cat suit can’t really go wrong, right? Wrong. This films only redeeming feature is its costumes (see previous comment), the music is appalling, the effects and make up are a long way short of spectacular, and much of the action is laughable. I’m going to explain these three complaints in a little more detail to try and convince you not to spend any money on watching this.

Music: When, oh when, will the general public get tired of "Nu-Metal" soundtracks? The scene where one of the characters turns into a werewolf for the first time, in the back of a car, and the people in the front notice, say "oh, shit" unconvincingly, and turn the radio up so the transformation is accompanied by a less-than-thrashing guitar riff and some guy doing some girly screaming, is utterly pathetic.

Effects: I know effects are often over played and over used in movies these days, but just look at the make-up when Bill Nighy’s character, Victor, is first awaken, it looks some sort of Blue Peter make your own cardboard skeleton that turns into a vampire project.

Action: There is a scene where someone takes a sword and in some unrealistic half arsed flying spinning jumping movement is suddenly on the other side of the room. The person they were fighting then stands up and slowly turn around to see that the sword is now blood stained. A close up of the victims face then shows a small diagonal superficial cut appear across their face and a little blood oozes from it. The view thinks, oh, he’s got a minor cut there look, I wonder what the relevance of that is? A look of shock comes over the guys face and the top half of his head then slowly slides of sideways as his head had actually been totally, perfectly, cleanly severed through the middle, showing us the cross section of his brain which was apparently capable of thought as well as controlling motor movement and facial expression despite this somewhat major trauma. The audience hold their sides and shake with laughter so much they are rendered incapable of asking for a refund.

You have been warned.

Labels: Film, Review

:: Dan 13.10.03 [Arc] [0 comments] [links to this post] ::
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Resfest (official site seems to be down at the moment) is at the Watershed this week, from Thurs 16 to Sun 19. Alongside the event, Amon Tobin is playing a "live scratch set" at the Thekla on Thursday night, along with Clean Cut DJs, and there is a free Resfest after party at the Watershed on Friday, put on by the Pedestrian guys, featuring America's leading experimental sound artist and "David Lynchs sound designer", Kim Cascone (actually assistant sound editor on Wild at Heart but that doesn’t sound as impressive does it) and a live laptop jam featuring Barry Moon, Andy Keep, Nathan Hughes (Mindpaw) and Joseph Hyde (whoever they are?), but its free so why not eh?

:: Dan 13.10.03 [Arc] [0 comments] [links to this post] ::
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